Year two.
You know, I had this great post written in my head, but I've forgotten most of it by now. That's what I get for waiting until the last moment, isn't it?
There's this guy that keeps walking into where I work (Advance Auto Parts, by the way. Thought you might like that. I don't know why) and he looks just like you. Bushy, curly red hair, budding goatee, quirky smile, tall and gangly, and every time he walks in I think he's you and my breath catches, and then I realize that it's not and I go in the back and cry. It's like having you all over again (almost daily now) and having that hope and then having it ripped away.
In two days I celebrate the two year anniversary of getting my knee surgery. It was one of the biggest life changers for me, something that infinitely improved my life, but feeling happy just seems so wrong, especially around this time, with you gone. How can I, or anyone who knew you, for that matter, be happy without you here? Sometimes I still feel guilty about it, and when I don't, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty about it.
I don't think words can express how much I miss you. There aren't any to describe the pain and emptiness your death left behind, and there aren't any to capture the loss that we feel, and the need to have you again, and the knowing that you won't ever be here again on earth. Heaven's never seemed so far away.
I love you, I miss you.
Happy anniversary.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Dear Bryce,
It's been a year. A long year.
Every time I hear "Hear You Me" by JimmyEatWorld, I think of you, Bryce. You may never know how much you made an impact on my life. I said opening prayer today in church, and almost prayed for good mojo, just for you. But I figured that it was your thing, and I couldn't take it from you.
Whenever I get music, I make sure to get the whole album, because you told me never to be the kind of girl that only got singles from a band. I haven't forgotten it.
Remember our emo bracelets? Yup, still got mine. I still remember the day we made a emo bracelet team with them. Well, sorta. We had a moment. That's all that matters.
I remember the day you died. I was at a dance. I cried all night. I couldn't bear a world without your light. I still can't believe you're gone.
It doesn't help that I had the HUGEST crush on you, eh? I bet you knew, but in case you didn't...well, now ya know. I thought you were the funniest, cutest guy, and you were so easy to talk to. You were so full of life...there's no way that something as simple as water could take that away. It's impossible. You should still be here.
It's been a year, and I still haven't gotten over my grief.
I miss you.
Every time I hear "Hear You Me" by JimmyEatWorld, I think of you, Bryce. You may never know how much you made an impact on my life. I said opening prayer today in church, and almost prayed for good mojo, just for you. But I figured that it was your thing, and I couldn't take it from you.
Whenever I get music, I make sure to get the whole album, because you told me never to be the kind of girl that only got singles from a band. I haven't forgotten it.
Remember our emo bracelets? Yup, still got mine. I still remember the day we made a emo bracelet team with them. Well, sorta. We had a moment. That's all that matters.
I remember the day you died. I was at a dance. I cried all night. I couldn't bear a world without your light. I still can't believe you're gone.
It doesn't help that I had the HUGEST crush on you, eh? I bet you knew, but in case you didn't...well, now ya know. I thought you were the funniest, cutest guy, and you were so easy to talk to. You were so full of life...there's no way that something as simple as water could take that away. It's impossible. You should still be here.
It's been a year, and I still haven't gotten over my grief.
I miss you.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Dear Kim,
Happy Birthday!
I know, I know, I'm insanely late (in my defense, I posted on Facebook on time, and we all know that Facebook is the most official way to wish someone a happy birthday). I also bought your card on time! But...issues and finding stamps made sending it...late. At one point I almost didn't send the card, but I decided that birthday's are too cool to just celebrate on one day, and getting stuff late just extends the epicosity of the day. It's like an extended warranty...on a birthday.
And a yodeling card! It was that or the maniacal laughing alarm clock card...I chose the yodeling because of our history in show choir together. And the yodeling mountain goats. Who can resist the yodeling mountain goats?
I was trying to think of ways to make up for being late. I wanted to write a letter, but most days I can't even sit down and write in my journal. Then today I was blogging, and I thought, why not make a blog and write her a letter there? So, in addition to your yodeling card, you have inspired an entire blog.
Now for your letter. I wasn't sure what to write. I haven't known you for very long, but I do know that you are a pretty amazing person. That night after Thoroughly Modern Millie made me wish that we could have become better friends sooner. I didn't know that you were so incredibly easy to talk to, and you and I have a lot more in common than I thought at first. You're pretty cool, Kim. You're pretty cool.
I'm glad you had a wonderful birthday! I wish you all the best in this coming year! Until next year (when the card WILL be on time!),
Kaitlen McElroy
(I just realized how incredibly short that letter was. Oops. I guess I haven't got the ol' English fluffer kicking in yet.)
I know, I know, I'm insanely late (in my defense, I posted on Facebook on time, and we all know that Facebook is the most official way to wish someone a happy birthday). I also bought your card on time! But...issues and finding stamps made sending it...late. At one point I almost didn't send the card, but I decided that birthday's are too cool to just celebrate on one day, and getting stuff late just extends the epicosity of the day. It's like an extended warranty...on a birthday.
And a yodeling card! It was that or the maniacal laughing alarm clock card...I chose the yodeling because of our history in show choir together. And the yodeling mountain goats. Who can resist the yodeling mountain goats?
I was trying to think of ways to make up for being late. I wanted to write a letter, but most days I can't even sit down and write in my journal. Then today I was blogging, and I thought, why not make a blog and write her a letter there? So, in addition to your yodeling card, you have inspired an entire blog.
Now for your letter. I wasn't sure what to write. I haven't known you for very long, but I do know that you are a pretty amazing person. That night after Thoroughly Modern Millie made me wish that we could have become better friends sooner. I didn't know that you were so incredibly easy to talk to, and you and I have a lot more in common than I thought at first. You're pretty cool, Kim. You're pretty cool.
I'm glad you had a wonderful birthday! I wish you all the best in this coming year! Until next year (when the card WILL be on time!),
Kaitlen McElroy
(I just realized how incredibly short that letter was. Oops. I guess I haven't got the ol' English fluffer kicking in yet.)
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